Is a Woman Responsible for Knowing the Father of Her Baby
"should I tell the other human being that I was mistaken and apologise that he is non the father? Photo: Getty Images
For many women, falling pregnant is a wonderful fourth dimension, it's often carefully planned and both parents are committed and excited to meet their new baby.
Just that is not always the instance, for many reasons, and every bit this new mom wrote to explain to New24, her situation has her wondering if she did the correct thing.
Read her story hither, then find out what the professionals propose in this tough situation.
Conceal this secret for a lifetime?
"Delight, I demand advise. I was so confused when I found out I was pregnant and who the real father is. So I told them both!
My boyfriend is so responsible and never doubts me. The other one has his own family and really wants to protect his reputation, but took the responsibility too and is secretly giving fiscal back up to me.
Months passed, the situation was consequent. Even without Dna testing, I'g sure that my fellow is the real father of my kid.
My question is, should I tell the other human that I was mistaken and apologise that he is non the father? Or tell him I choose to stay away from him and never accept any support, since he advised me to ally someone else?
Should I go along my life with my beau and our child, and conceal this secret for a lifetime?"
Psychological trauma
We asked Felicity Guest, founder of Child Maintenance Difficulties South Africa, for insight.
"I would suggest she and her boyfriend do a Deoxyribonucleic acid test, so everybody is clear and it tin't be used at a future date against either of them," she advises.
"We don't know what the hereafter holds, should they pause up any incertitude well-nigh paternity can hold up a maintenance club every bit Deoxyribonucleic acid will probably be asked for," she says, adding " and more than importantly the kid should know who their biological begetter is."
Guest adds that the male parent should be certain it is his child, and urges her to consider the psychological trauma of thinking information technology is his child, and it is not.
She warns also that whoever is non the father in this situation tin legally claim dorsum all the money that he has given while thinking the child was his.
Claiming back maintenance
Linda Matshoza, a family law lawyer at Police force FOR ALL told Parent24 that there is not really precedent for claiming back the money paid in mistake.
"In the event that there is an maintenance guild in place and paternity is disputed, the best cause of activeness for the begetter would exist to make a civil claim confronting the mother," she advises.
He would then use the amount he was paying in terms of an order to quantify a ceremonious claim. If in that location is no guild information technology will be more difficult to quantify and the father may accept to employ the services of someone to assist in quantifying how much they may have contributed over the past months, or years.
"It would obviously exist helpful in the father'due south claim if they have proof of certain contributions made," she says, calculation that information technology is quite a difficult action to make.
Proof of paternity
"However the best affair any father can exercise in an case where they are uncertain of paternity is to asking a paternity examination. Although it may cause disharmonize initially if the test is perhaps refused past the female parent; the father has the final option of withholding maintenance whilst issue of paternity is in question," she explains.
The onus would then be on the female parent to arroyo the maintenance court, in which instance the father can enhance the question of paternity and the maintenance dispute would be placed on hold pending paternity results.
"If the mother again refuses the paternity test then the presumption is in favour of the father that the child is not theirs and the mother will be unable to claim maintenance," she says.
Ask us! Do you have a legal question yous need help with? Share your questions via email at chatback@parent24.com and we may speak to a legal professional on your behalf. Anonymous contributions are welcome.
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Source: https://www.news24.com/parent/family/relationships/i-was-so-confused-about-who-the-real-father-is-so-i-told-them-both-now-what-20201106
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